tl;dr - soloq teaches things that nothing else can, so it’s hard to replace. if you want to not hate it, either (a) work on specific individual things and ignore game outcomes or (b) learn to accept that it’s your fault when you lose and actively work to fix the mistakes that cost you games
oh so this is a very good one
to answer the second part of your question: there are certain things that you can only learn in solo queue, so I think at some point if you wanna be the best you do have to learn it. no other form of playing the game will make you as well-rounded and well-prepared because the sheer variety of both opponents, teammates, and situations you can face in solo queue is way higher than you’ll face if you just play in team settings
but getting the most out of solo queue requires a certain kind of mentality
specifically, there are two ways to gain from solo queue without wanting to blow your brains out
the first—and arguably easier—method is to focus purely on the process of learning. warm up properly before you queue, and then play your entire session with a particular focus on something fairly fine-grained/micro that makes sense to work on individually. it looks like you play blasters, so for example, you could spend the whole play session making sure every single time you jump and shoot (instead of just shooting) is intentional, or you could spend the whole session really focusing on ensuring that you never accidentally hit the floor or a wall when poking around corners, or that you try to really make use of your exact direct/indirect range, etc.
however, the second approach, which I think has more potential despite being harder, is to get used to the objective fact that there is always something you could have done to win the game. it is always, in some capacity, at LEAST partially your fault that you lost.
if you don’t believe me, send me literally any solo queue game and i will prove it to you. even if you went 24-2, there is probably a way you could have done more.
i think the biggest mistake people make that leads to solo queue tilt is this notion that they should only have to do a certain amount to win, and then their team should be able to handle the rest. however, if you believe that, then you aren’t really trying to climb, because the only way to be at the top is to be better than everyone else in the lobby and have complete agency over whether you win or lose. the game tries to keep MMR between teams even, so there WILL be games where you are the highest-rated player on your team and are expected to win the game mostly on your own, but also, if you wanna gain a lot of points fast, you have to win games where you WEREN’T supposed to win
separately from the MMR thing though, if you want to win then you should do EVERYTHING in your power to win, even if it means having to go 14-0. I strongly believe that, depending on your weapon, it is theoretically possible to win almost ANY solo queue match if you play it perfectly enough — eventually, your teammates WILL do something good if you can keep bailing them out and setting them up. It might be exceedingly hard, and the mistakes your teammates make may have been way more egregious and stupid and easy to fix, but you don’t have control over that — the only thing you have control over is you, so IMO it only makes sense to worry about whether you truly did everything in your power to win. if you aren’t sure what could’ve saved you after a particularly frustrating game, force yourself to pause and go look to figure it out. being objective and honest about what you could do better to either (a) extend the opportunities that you got to be even bigger or (b) avoid putting yourself in dire situations that snowball in the enemy team’s favor is important.
Also, to be clear, this does NOT mean you should try and run in and frag all the time. That’s called feeding, and it’s rarely the optimal play, because if you die, you are relying on your team to hold the line, which is the exact situation you wanna avoid when you want to have agency over the outcome of the game. You can’t control where the game goes if you’re dead.
if you’re honest with yourself about these things, you’ll learn to be motivated by what you could have done better and feel like there is a path forward, rather than this helpless sense that your team sucked and the game was not in your control
the reason I say this second path is better is because if you play like this and learn to be aware of ALL your mistakes and focus on fixing things as they come up, you’ll ultimately become someone who avoids making a lot of the mistakes and from there the only way forward IS to be better, more consistent/reliable, more clutch when it matters, faster, more efficient and precise, more adaptable in weird situations, etc. etc. etc. — all the things that ultimately make someone a good player.